"Hey look at Gutz and Spence just a huggin' and a huggin'!"
"Hold me Gutz! Hold me like you'll never let me go. I am afraid I may choose BYU over Weber State which is far superior to BYU in every way, and is also with in walking distance of Brad's house." Spencer wept as he hugged the Gutz-Man.
"Alright Spencer. I'll do what I can. For I am 'GUTZ'!"
"Hey Gutz! Be careful, you've rubbed up against Brad and me, mix that with the coolness you and Spence have, along with that Dart magic, the Speed Suit Spencer is wearing underneath his clothes and you're in danger of creating one of those 'Cool Dude' sand storms. They're not as damaging, in an awesome way, as our Fire balls of Awesome, but it will get in your eyes." Corbin warned.
Here Ethan is hiding when he felt the static electricity that is present when Brad and Corbin get together signaling one of those Balls of fiery cool!
"Mom, with Dad being so awesome, I have had a hard time sleeping. Ethan, Ben and I are getting really, really, cool. Will we be in risk of losing our home to a fire ball of awesome?" Spencer confided in his awesome Mom Brad's awesome wife.
"Well, son, it isn't a black and white issue. Some nights I wake up at night when a funnel cloud forms in our room. Your Dad is used to it, and just sleeps through it. Even after all this time, it still makes me nervous." Amber replied. She went on to say. "Don't worry about it Spencer. If go out in a fire ball of Awesome, it will be great. By the way, have you seen those two girls who look alike? It freaks me out."
"Hey." Shaun thought. "There's Brad being cool again. Yeah, he knows how we stud's get things done. I've got to keep aware as to not get too close. If we, along with Corbin get our cool vibe going on, a funnel cloud may form, sucking up tents, bags, and even small children. If we actually touched hands this whole place is going up in flames. That would be awesome! But I must use my coolness for good, and not destructive awesomeness."
"Holy cow! I've heard about Brad's amazing displays of coolness on Discovery Channel, History Channel, VH-1, Nickelodeon, and The Home Shopping Network, but to see it with my own eyes is mind boggling. I think he's playing with my mind."
"Yeah, I've been thinking about that. "Commented Corbin. "But I figured if we get someone to move a soda machine out into the parking lot, we could have room for a few more trophies. Two or three max. We may have to start filling up the Energy Solutions arena if all of this butt kicking keeps up."
"I'm Candace! I'm Candace, and I like my string cheese!" Cheered Candace in her Best cheerleader act.
"Do my eyes deceive me or do two of those girls over there look like cousins?"
"Hey girl, slow down. I think I look like you. Have you eve wondered if there was something more out there? Hey girl, slow down."
"Crap, why did I run her down? Now she keeps staring at me as if I am that something out there." thought Jackson #1. (Yep, I can't tell the difference.)
"Wow, do I really look so great? I am so glad she ran me down. Now we can be BFF. I will stare at her all day. I think there is a chance we are related. Distantly of course." Thought Jackson #2...who I assume really is a cousin or something.
These two have got to be related. I'm no specialist on family relations, but come on, do they look like they could be cousins or what? Use your imagination. act like they are dressed the same or something. I know it's a stretch, but if the lighting is right, they do look related.
"What is that I see o'er yonder? For it is Brad, once again out doing his very own self with a display of complete, and utter, awesomeness, and fiery cool that put us on the map. I am happy to be able able to look o'er yonder to see this stud being a stud. for it brings me much joy."
"Hi! My name is Sethonian Fredrickson Gutz. Do you want to be friends?"
"Hmmmm" McFadden thought to his self. "If I could get Brad to come up for a few days. Corbin to come up for a few. And maybe even Jamie for a few, I may be able to harness some of their coolness, and turn Cody , WY into the type of town where a party could happen. But I'm not sure if that Northern Wyoming town is equipped to handle that type of awesomeness. There could be some sort of an explosion, or short circuiting of power lines."
"Corbin. Psssst. Corbin." Ryan whispered. "There is grass on you."
"Dude, seriously, you disrespect the 'D' again, and you will find the discus lodged somewhere that aint made for lodging."
" I know I am really big, and extremely strong." Bryce thought to his self. "But Gosh, can't they see I'm just a big teddy bear that needs a hug once in a while? Just because I am really, really strong doesn't mean there are no feelings beneath all of this muscle. Beneath layer after layer after layer of muscle you will find a loving boy, who likes to read 'Harry Potter', and finger paint. I'm gonna kill someone if they don't start seeing that."
Moments later they beat someone up. Well, Spencer did, and Seth taunted them.
"It's 1/3 Root Beer, 1/3 Sprite, and and the rest is a liquid combination of Gutz, and How ya doin'!"
Right before this picture was taken Candace said: "Man, if I had a camera I'd take pictures too. Pictures are fun."
"Ladies, the Spence Machine is graduating this year, and you'd better hitch a ride before it's outta here. And once it's gone, there is nothing, save one or two things, that with ever get this Ander-stud to turn around." Spencer informed his lady friends.
It wasn't until they crossed the finish line that they looked at one another and said: "You! You look...you look like me. And all of this time you were in the next lane."
(I did not photo shop this photo. These two girls really do look that much a like. Weird aint it!?!?)
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!"
"Hey will you toss me that Tiger Beat Magazine? I heard there are some hot pictures of Justin Timberlake." He corrected his self after noticing me. "I mean, throw me that Sports Illustrated I heard there are pictures of Justin Timberlake getting beat up."
"How many times do I have to tell you this? Brad and I are so cool that our canopy is in danger of bursting into flames, if not just melting. If you come around here waving your cool all over you're gonna get us killed. Now cut it out, or sit over there. That school isn't cool enough to do jack."
"Last time Shauny Boy! Brad and I are cool dudes. And I mean Dude in the coolest of terms." Corbin growled. "You either knock off your coolness, or I'll...I'll...awe crap, this being mean is kind of hard. Just cool it down a little. I think I saw Brad's hair smoking. That brotha is one cool cat. And anymore and...well, you do the math. I'm an English teacher, and this sentence was long and run-on, and perhaps too many commas."
"Shaun, I didn't mean to come down on you so hard, it's just that...how do I say this.? With Brad being such a stud, we really need to be careful ya know. It's been said that his awesomeness actually fueled a space shuttle once. How'd they bottle it? I aint sure. But it's that same coolness in troubled times, Studliness in stressful situations that makes me proud to be a 'cool dude' beside him. Without guys like us, this World would be a cold, and dark place. With out stud Muffins, you'd still be walking to school. With out the 'Bradical and Corbodacious duo', we'd still be watching re-runs of 'Lavern and Shirley', tap dancing in loafers, watching analog t.v.,drinking Tab, singing "Whoomp there it is', and using type writers. Yep, Brad was the one who pushed that one into the past. So you can either help us keep this thing under control, or be that straw that makes the camel explode into a fiery, steaming, explosion of amazing stud ball fire! For we have one chance to show this world greatness. One moment to make this world shine. One second to teach the world to wear Adidas, and shirts on their head. And I can't say how proud I am to be on this Comet of Cool." Corbin ended as his voice began to crack...in a very cool way. McFadden couldn't hold back the tears. "That speech spoke to me." He whispered. "It spoke to me."
"Bryce!" Jason said. "Look at those girls. They look alike. I wonder if they're sisters."
"Nope." Replied Bryce. "Aint never heard of such weirdness.
"If Jason doesn't ask me out" shouted Emily. "I'm gonna squeeze this bottle of sun screen all over you. Argh!"
"Coach West, tell me about when you saw Brad and Corbin glowing to light up the ballroom when the power went out at the "Ball of the Roses"!"
"Dude, did you ever hear about that time that Brad's cool powered a space shuttle?"
"Let me see, is this the jacket that Corbin didn't get Brad?"
" I dunno Missy, it Kinda freaked me out. I mean, I looked to the lane beside me and I thought I was running in it. I couldn't figure out how I beat myself, and lost to myself at the same time. It kinda got me thinkin' ya know. Like maybe there's something more out there than just me."
"Ya think she might be your twin." Ask Missy.
"A Twin? What's that?"
"Is she still behind me? This is kinda creepin' me out. Does she see me?"
"I'm not doin' nothin' until Jason or the Gutz-man asks me out." Pouted Emily.
"Hey Jessie, that bug done flew right into your eye." giggled Holly.
"It seems like just 45 meters ago" Corbin remanist. "that she was right in front of me running 'er litte heart out."
"Oh the shirt one the head?" Corbin asked " Well, Candace it serves two purposes. One, to keep the seagulls from taking a 'loofer' on my head. And two, because chicks dig it."
"Then carry the 3 over here, and a little bit of me, a pinch of you, maybe some romantic sky lights so we can look at the moon, two packs of Ramen noodles, a candle, three matches 'case two don't work, one tube sock, a Twinkie, no, two Twinkies, a pair of Adidas running shoes, a new Davis Dart Speed suit...for me...and that is pretty well the recipe for love."
"So it's true." Shawn Pondered. "According to this book of things that are 100% true, and undeniable, Corbin and Brad are listed as the two coolest people to walk upon this earth. Oh, and Adidas is better than Nike."
No matter the funny face, no matter how foul the smell...nothing, and I mean NOTHING can take away the cool from the Anderson Clan. NOTHING!
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